The official results are in. My HCG level today was less than one and this cycle is done.
I couldn’t help feeling relieved. Since I learned the results on Tuesday I have tried to be hopeful but couldn’t shake the feeling of being terrified that the low number was going to double, and double, and double again only to turn into another miscarriage in several weeks. The odds were against our having a miracle, so the next best thing was to have this over quickly.
Ahhhh…Next best things…
Any failed IVF cycle has its silver linings. Or as I prefer to call them, our Consolation Prizes.
We didn’t win the jackpot this time BUT we did win a fabulous No-Expense-Paid Trip For Two (or Three) to New York City!!!
Okay, New Jersey really, but close enough right?
We already have a consultation with our prospective new clinic and its a hop, skip and a jump away from the Big Apple. This time instead of snowboarding perhaps we can catch a show and visit friends in the area. We meet with our new doctor over video chat on May 27th. We will keep our regroup with Home Clinic scheduled because we love them, want their ideas, and may end up doing donor eggs there someday. No reason to burn bridges.
Our prospective new doctor has a good reputation and his family was conceived via IVF. Its the reason he chose the Reproductive Endocrinology path. Hopefully it will equate to a better patient experience than Celebrity Miracle Clinic. The new clinic is also priced ever so slightly below Celebrity Miracle Clinic. And we can reasonably drive there and save some coin, which is good because we will be digging deep into our empty pockets for this one.
But enough about the fertility stuff. The REAL consolation prizes are a lot simpler like…
- A delicious glass of red wine in our hot tub on a perfect cool rainy night
- A romantic evening with Bill sometime soon, rather than another 6 weeks or so away
- A long slow run this weekend
- A good cry somewhere along the way
- Some time off from hormones, monitoring, poking, prodding, bloating, and worrying
- Picking my amazing daughter up without wondering if its going to cause me to lose her sibling
- Another delicious glass of wine
Of course I would rather be basking in the glow of pregnancy, but I develop a nice pink color after a glass of wine or two in the hot tub too.
Thanks everyone for your prayers and support. We are handling it much better this time than last. After nine transfers and only one child we are not bullet proof, but this aging skin is definitely getting a little bit thicker.