God’s Tremendous Sense of Humor

I knew it had been a long time since I posted, but I didn’t realize how long until I logged into WordPress tonight to add a post about the baby shower my sisters and Mom hosted for me this weekend.

That’s right, baby shower. I will get to that in a moment.

Upon logging in I was shocked to see that my last post was my testimony about how the loss of my first cousins Brice and Brianna led me to turn my life back over to Christ. The post dates all the way back to February.

Yes, it has been awhile. A long while. And a great deal has happened since February.

In my head I have written a dozen or so posts since that time. When the site’s renewal came up in January I labored over whether to keep it or take it down. I knew whatever I decided, the blog had to change. I used it in the past as a way to cope with the challenges of infertility. However once I began trusting God and found the peace that he promises us, I no longer needed it as a way to process what I was feeling. I also didn’t have time for writing with a new job, a three year old, and a three cycle embryo banking process on my plate.

However I had this nagging feeling that I should keep the site live. That perhaps at some point God would have a purpose for the blog and that I should wait. So wait I did. And waited, and waited, and waited.

But in my mind I posted about my desire to change the theme of the site to a blog about how God can use challenging circumstances like infertility and loss to sharpen our faith, enhance our friendships, and strengthen our marriages.

As I imagined what the site could be I also dreamed of telling my followers our good news, that the three part banking cycle worked and after our very long road with the New Jersey clinic we are pregnant. I thought I told you how scared we were when the first two cycles yielded only two normal embryos out of 19 that came from the procedures. I fantasized sharing the news that our third cycle gave us 16 embryos, 9 of which made it to day 5, with 4 of those turning out to be chromosomaly normal. I could have sworn I shared my elation when we went from wondering if we would ever have another child of our own to worrying about what we would do with 6 more children.

But I never wrote those posts that I drafted in my head and was genuinely stunned tonight when I discovered that I had to find a way to take you through months of experiences that led us to where we are today.

I can’t take you back through all of what I would have written in one simple post tonight, but I can share that on May 17th we transferred two average quality embryos. We transferred one boy and one girl because we couldn’t decide which we wanted and we had no desire to play God. Instead we chose one of each and decided to let God himself decide. And hence the title for tonight’s post.

Apparently he couldn’t make up his mind either. After transferring twenty-two embryos in 9 different procedures the hilarious man upstairs decided it was time to answer our prayers.